The Girl Of Violet Heritage
by KaceyMackWriter
Summary: Mal's faced with the most terrifying task she's ever seen, her wedding. Though she loves Ben, she finds herself bound by the fear of commitment and becoming Queen. Every thought of fear imaginable rushes through her head all at once. She'll struggle through it all, right until she says "I do". She'll always have a choice, but what will she choose?
1. Overheard

**This is my first Descendants fanfiction so I thought I'd go for something that I thought about a lot when I was reading the books and when I saw the movies! I do hope that you all enjoy and that you'll want me to write more! Please let me know what you think and what I can improve on because constructive criticism is how I get better as a writer! Also, if anyone happens to think of a better title to this story, please let me know! I'd be happy to credit you the title, as I was stumped as to what I should name it and just ended up going with my first idea that doesn't fully fit the flow of the story. Any and all help is appreciated!**

"Evie… Evie!" Mal shouted, rushing towards her blue haired best friend in a panicked frenzy. Evie, who was deep in conversation with Lonnie, appeared to not hear Mal until she was right next to the both of them.

"Evie!" Mal repeated, shaking her friends shoulder uncontrollably.

Evie spun around to look at Mal, whose eyes were brimming with fear. "What is it, Mal?" She asked, completely forgetting that Lonnie was there and focusing on Mal.

Mal opened her mouth but she glanced at Lonnie in concern. Understanding, Lonnie took a few steps back and walked back down the path, pretending to be interested in the trees.

Evie, who'd been watching Lonnie, snapped her head back to Mal.

"Evie… Ben is…" Mal stuttered. "Ben is…"

"Ben is what?" Evie said, trying to prod her friend along.

Mal stomped her foot on the ground in frustration. "Ben is… going to propose!" She said in a panicked whisper. Fear and excitement rose in her chest but she didn't know what she was supposed to be feeling.

Evie's eyes widened but before she could squeal or say anything, Mal clamped her hand over Evie's mouth. "Shhhh…" She scolded. Her friend's azure curls bobbed up and down and Mal removed her hand.

"How did you find out? And I thought you and Ben were already basically engaged?" Evie whispered back, pulling her friend over to the side as some people came walking down the sidewalk.

Mal's hands shook at her sides as she looked desperately at Evie. "I… I overheard him talking to Jane about it! And… I mean, I thought so too… sort of. I mean, according to just about everyone, we've basically been engaged since he became king… but I don't know!" Mal's heart raced.

More people started to come down the path and Evie pulled Mal away. The two practically ran towards the dorm, sprinting into Evie's room and slamming the door shut.

Mal fell against the door, sighing heavily as she slid down and her butt hit the floor. Evie walked over to her bed and sat down. She watched Mal for a few seconds, giving her time to breathe, then began to ask questions once more.

"First things first… go over exactly what you heard Ben and Jane talking about." She said, staring Mal down.

Mal sighed and thought for a second. "Well… I was walking to my locker to get my stuff for my next lesson when I heard Ben calling Jane over." She continued talking as she relived the moment in her head.

" _Jane!" Ben's voice filtered around the corner and floated to Mal's ear. She smiled just hearing his voice. She heard Jane reply and watched as she got up from the picnic tables that she was sitting at and walked to wherever Ben was around the corner. Mal grinned, thinking that she could sneak up behind the two of them and surprise Ben but as she crept up, she heard the two of them talking in hushed tones._

" _But why?" She heard Jane say. "The two of you are basically already…"  
_ " _But it'll make it more special." Ben cut her off._

" _I guess… I'll help, of course!" There was excitement in Jane's voice and Mal moved a little bit closer, hoping to hear more. "Ohh, just imagine how surprised Mal will be when you propose!" She said with enthusiasm._

" _Shhh…" Ben whispered._

 _Everything else was lost to the wind as Mal processed what she'd just heard. Her heart began to pound and she felt fear begin to build up in her mind. Every inch of her body was buzzing and she couldn't fathom the idea of getting married when she was barely in college._

"And that's when I ran to find you." She said, her heart racing once more after reliving the moment.

Evie looked at her friend pitily. "Well you love Ben, right?"  
"Yes!" Mal looked at her incredulously. "Of course!"

"Then this should be easy, shouldn't it?"

"I mean… I don't know!" Mal struggled. "It… should be, but… it's just _not_."  
"Why not?" Evie's looked of concern infuriated Mal.

"Because! I don't know… if it's right! Doesn't… doesn't it seem… like it's too soon?" Mal took a deep breath, unsure of what to do.

Evie watched her with sympathy. "M… you've been with Ben for nearly four years! You've been through everything together! Are you really telling me that you don't want to marry him?"  
Mal shook her head furiously. She began to grind her teeth and she wanted to scream or yell or hit something but all she could do was pound the floor in anger. "I don't know!" She practically screamed. Mal's head jutted upwards and she felt a rush of magic flow through her controlled by her emotions. She knew that her eyes had just glowed a brilliant green as Evie backed off.

"Alright." Her best friend said. "Then we'll deal with that later. For now, just calm down."  
Mal took another deep breath. No matter what she did, her heart continued to race. She was terrified and confused and her head fell into her hands. Within seconds, tears were streaming down her face, filling her palms with salty pools of water.

Evie stood up and walked over to Mal. She sat down carefully next to her best friend and slowly began rubbing her back. "It's going to be okay, M. I'll always be here to help."

Mal continued to sob, unsure of what to do. Her mind was racing far faster than her heart and every moment of it was confusing. _Why should this be so hard? Why is the idea of getting married so much scarier than everything else I've ever done?_

Her entire body shook every time she took a ragged breath. In the same moment, she and Evie had the same thought as though they were connected.

 _What are we gonna do?_


	2. Interference

Mal stared up at the ceiling as her friends, who sat scattered around the room, all chatted amongst themselves glancing at her periodically. She familarized herself with every crack, every speck of dust that adorned the ceiling though there were few to be seen.

Carlos, Jay and Evie gathered themselves in the corner away from Mal, muttering to each other things that Mal couldn't be bothered to try and overhear. She was to busy trying herself to find any way to delay Ben's plans. Since her spell book was locked up in the museum, she had no way to magic herself out of this situation. Even so, Mal found herself wondering and fighting with her own mind about her true answer.

 _Yes or No? It's that simple! Yes or No?_

Mal's fist clenched tightly while the other hand hooked onto her bedsheets. Again, she wanted to scream or cry or do something to release the inner turmoil that she felt but she wouldn't, couldn't even try.

The three in the corner broke apart and they all converged around Mal. She sat up and ran her hands through her deep purple hair. Loose strands of rich plum darkness fell down in front of her face.

Jay wrapped his arm around one of the bedposts and swung himself around to half kneel on Mals bed. Carlos fixed his black, white and red jacket, casually leaning against the window facing the courtyards. Evie was of course sat directly next to Mal, hands folded neatly in her lap, perfect red lips pursed.

Looking around at each one of them, Mal laughed weakly.

"What?" Carlos raised an eyebrow, confused.

Mal focused on Carlos. "Every time we get together like this, we're always on some life or death adventure that's a lot more serious then the thought of my wedding and yet I feel like this is the most terrifying thing I've ever had to do."

Carlos and Evie nodded. Mal glances at Jay and he shook his head. "You don't have to do anything yet. You don't even have to make a choice."

Mal wanted to argue but she was dehydrated and queasy from all the crying she'd done. It was like someone had decided that the floodgates holding in all her sorrows were useless and threw them away without a second thought. Now she could barely find a minute where there wasn't a tear rolling off her chin.

"I just don't want anything to happen too soon. I mean I've avoided Ben for the last four days out of fear and anticipation!" She thought about all the times that she'd ducked around corners and hid in classrooms just to get away from him. That was what made her sick to her stomach, avoiding him. Her heart was screaming at her with white hot fury as fierce as a dragon's flames that she knows she loves him and that the answers was obviously yes.

But her mind was blocking her at every turn with every anxiety, every fear about committing and finding herself broken again, rejected again by someone she loved. Her mind was the Fortress of Solitude and her heart was the magic locked inside, wishing to be free.

Never had Mal felt more frustrated, felt more infuriated by her own ruthless emotions that couldn't even tell her how she was supposed to feel, only show how much it hurts.

Jay opened his mouth again but the only sound in the room was from the knock at the door.

"Mal?" Ben's voice filtered through the crack in the doorway.

Mal looked around panicked but Evie calmly stood up and strood over to the door. She opened it enough for Ben to only see her face. "Hi, Ben!"

"Uh, Hey Evie is Mal here?"

"Well She is… but we're dealing with some _girl_ stuff right now and she needs her privacy." Evie's sly lie was complete with her silky voice that never wavered.

Still Ben persisted. "Does she need anything? Can I help?" He asked.

"Not now, but she'll be sure to call you if she does, okay bye." Evie began to shut the door but Ben stopped it before it shut all the way.

"Well can you ask her to meet me at the enchanted lake around 6 if she's feeling better by then?"

"Of course!" Evie almost slammed the door shut, whirling around to look at the other VK's.

"Oh god! How has he already planned this so fast?" Mal panicked. Evie rushed back to her friends side, rubbing her back and wrapping her in a hug.

"It's alright, we'll do what we can." She whispered. Evie looked up at the boys who were already standing attentive as if waiting for orders. "You two need to run interference for now. Lead Ben around the grounds or off on some random trip or something! Just make sure to distract him long enough that was can figure something out!"

Jay nodded and Carlos practically saluted to Evie's strict tone. The two boys ran out of the room to begin their mission as Mal continued to fight off her panic attack.

"What if he asks in front of a bunch of people and I say no? What if he's waiting for an answer and I just can't tell him that I can't do it? What if I don't say yes and it's the biggest mistake I'll ever make? Oh E, what's gonna happen? I can't do this right now! Everything about this feels sudden and I wish I hadn't found out about it! It's would've been easier but I don't know what to do, E! I don't know what to do!" She was practically out of breath when Evie stopped her ramble. Her chest rose and fell heavily and unsteady. Mals eyes were dry but only because there was nothing more that she could cry. She'd already let most of the water in her leave.

Mal hiccuped as Evie held her tighter. Mal clutched to her friend like a child clinging to their mother's leg. At that moment and in many before, Evie was Mals lifeline. The safety net to catch her before she fell too far.

"Shh…" Evie whispered. "I know… I know that you're not used to this. None of us are used to this but Mal, I promise that we are going to do everything we can to help you. You, Carlos, Jay and I are family and we always help our family."

Mal hiccuped again and nodded. "And in the end, if you do end up with a ring box in front of you and a question hanging in the air, we'll I know that in that moment you'll know that exact right answer inside yourself." Evie held up her hand and used her other hand to lift Mals chin gently.

Mal nodded and she held up her own hand to Evie's and the girls entwined their fingers together so tightly that there was no space between.

After a few minutes, Evie slid off the bed and walked over to Mals drawer. Mal watched Evie curiously as she pulled out a cute knee length dress. It began as dark purple on the bottom and slowly dragging upward the color got lighter and light to fade to almost white at the top. The sleeves hung off the shoulder and Evie dug around a bit more until she found a thin white rope belt with a gold buckle that she hung around the waist.

"Now go change." Evie ordered.

Mal raised her eyebrow questioningly.

"No questions, go change." She repeated so Mal slinked off of her bed and grabbed the dress. Mal did as she was told and slid into the dress in the makeshift changing room in the corner. She buckled the belt around her waist and slowly emerged from the corner feeling exposed and vulnerable.

She looked over at Evie who was holding a pair of high wedge sandals up.

Mal took the shoes quietly in hand but set them on the bed instead of putting them on. "Evie where are you going with this?" She said, slightly annoyed and unsure.

"I just want you to feel more like yourself again!"

"But this is you, E! You're the one who likes to dress up and stuff, you know I'd rather stick to my jackets."

"Oh come on, M! Don't you dare tell me that there isn't some part of you that is enjoying this!" She said staring M down. She had a smile on that prompted a grin from Mal, a small one at least. It was the first Mal seen in days. "That's right girl! Come here!" Evie chirped happily. She pulled Mal back over to her bed and pulled out her several bags of makeup that Mal couldn't figure out where she actually kept them.

Mal sat there content as Evie did her makeup and found that Evie was right about one thing. It did help her feel more like herself then she had in days and it was a wonderful feeling even if the shadow of overbearing fear still remained.

The boys never returned so Evie and Mal decided that they'd successfully done their jobs until Evie's phone began to buzz.

She picked it up quickly, nodding fast along with whatever the caller was saying. "Thanks, Jay." Evie said before hanging up. Mal looked at her expectantly. "They lost Ben. He snuck away a bit ago and they can't find him. It's nearly time. He's waiting for you, M."

"Do you want to go or not?"


	3. Yes or No

Mals heart was racing. Evie clung to her on the back of Mals purple scooter. Wind whipped through the girls hair and lashed their faces as they sped down the path.

In Mal's mind she was replaying their moments previous to this one.

" _Do you want to go or not?"_

 _Evie was waiting expectantly for an answer and she stared at Mal_

 _Mal felt her heart flutter. As the beat got steadily faster, her breathing increased. Mal inhaled and exhaled, beginning to hyperventilate. Her body started to catch up to her heart rate and her hands began to tremble. Her legs moved without her thinking and she paced the room in panic._

 _Mal felt as though she was watching herself through someone else's eyes. She saw her quaking hands and unsteady feet. She felt her heart and mind in a race but also felt completely out of control.'_

 _In the midst of her nervous breakdown, Evie reached out and took Mal's hands in her own. She tossed back a wave of blue with a flick of her head and tried to steady Mal's frantic panic. Evie stared deep into Mal's eyes, holding her in her gaze. Mal grasped her best friends hands as a lifeline while Evie held onto her tightly._

 _As Mal clung steadfastly to her blue haired BFF, she felt her breathing slow from jetspeed. A slight tremor remained but Mal gave a small smile, grateful. At least she could somewhat think straight again._

" _M… you don't have to do this. Ben will understand if you're not ready." Evie said, looking at Mal in pity._

 _Mal closed her eyes, feeling a dull ache inside of her. In her mind, she saw herself and Ben. She saw their first date and the sparkly rock he'd fished out of the lake. She saw him defending her on Family Day and asking her to wear his ring on his Coronation Day. There was the spells from their first adventure and his attempt to get her back from the Isle from the second. She saw her dragon form as she fought to take her Ben back from Uma. Her eyelids were filled with all the memories they'd made together but one stood out over all of it._

 _Her dream, when she still lived on the Isle of the Lost. She'd dreamed of Ben before she'd ever even met him. It had been something so different from her life then. Strange then but clear now. Somehow Mal had always known who Ben was to her, even before she and her friends came to Auradon. Even if she'd never realized in her mind, her heart has always known. Mal knew now what she'd known since the beginning. She'd found her soulmate, her match, her partner in crime and she wasn't about to let him slip away._

 _Mal opened her eyes once more and looked directly at Evie. "But I am ready… I'm ready to say yes."_

Evie had clapped her hands and practically chirped in excitement when Mal gave her decree. She'd absolutely refused to take no for an answer when she asked if she could come along so off they'd gone.

Mal's bout of confidence hadn't lasted long and she felt herself beginning to doubt her decision. All she could do was remind herself that she loved him and he loved her. Now that it was happening, Mal realized that spending the last few days freaking out had left her in a constant state of panic no matter what she did. She hoped to any higher powers that when he asked, she'd know her answer in an instant.

Mal tried to calm herself by taking in deep breaths. They neared the path down to the Enchanted Lake and she pulled on the brakes to slow their speed. Evie let go of her tight grip on Mal and slid off the bike once they'd stopped.

"I'll stay her…" Evie started to say but Mal took her hand.

"No… please come with me."

Evie nodded, smiling. The two set off into the woods wandering their way through the paths and across the rope bridge. Soon they reached the ridge where Ben had shown Mal the Enchanted Lake for the first time. Down on a picnic blanket by the sparkling blue water, Ben sat reading over a piece of paper. It was too far away to see but Mal had a feeling that his other hand was fiddling with a ring box.

Their spot was even more beautiful than it had been when they first came. Now, in the slowly falling sunlight, there was a gorgeous glow that fell over everything. Tiny fairy lights dotted the surrounding trees and little lanterns seemed to mark a path down. He'd even set a bunch of tiny candles all around. It was all a wonderful fire hazard that Mal adored.

Evie pulled Mal into a hug. "I love you, M." She whispered in Mal's ear.

"Love you too, E." Mal mumbled.

Evie pulled away from their hug and grasped Mal's shoulders. "Always remember, you love Ben and he loves you. That's the only answer you'll ever need to have."

She nodded to Evie and turned away. "Oh boy…" Mal murmured to herself. "Here goes nothing."

One careful step at a time, Mal made her way down to him following the beautiful paper lanterns that were set just above her. Once he saw her, he seemed to try and hide the box in his hand but failed miserably. Mal pretended not to have noticed him slipping it in his pocket and smiled widely at Ben who grinned cheerfully back.

She approached him, her heart barely maintaining a steady beat. He jumped up to greet her, pulling her into a kiss as soon as she came near enough.  
Mal gladly kissed him back and when they broke apart, she sat down on the blanket below them.

Ben continued to grin his charming, puppy like grin. He waited as Mal enjoyed the wonderful strawberries that were set out, laughed when Mal gasped as she saw chocolate covered ones as well. Mal smiled widely as they watched the sun set, her cuddled into Ben's shoulder. Soon the spot was lit by the moonlight and cast a glow so lovely, Mal never wanted it to end.

Once the moon shown high in the sky, Ben moved away from Mal. She stood up and smoothed her dress and when she turned back, he stared up at her lovingly from his kneeling spot on the ground. Though she'd been expecting this the entire night, she couldn't help but put her hands over her mouth in shock.

Ben took a breath. "Mal… we've been through a lot together. We've fought battles together, we've fought through every adversary that's come our way. You and I were always meant to be because we've been able to get through anything and everything that has come our way. I love seeing you every day, love kissing you, love being with you, love everything about you because I can't think of anyone more perfect. You, Mal, are my everything and I absolutely want to spend the rest of my life with you."

He took the ring box out of his pocket and opened it, smiling at her. "Mal Bertha, will you marry me?" Ben watched her hopefully and Mal smiled through her hands.  
"Oh Ben…" She whispered, joyful tears rolling off her cheeks. Mal didn't even hesitate as she looked at him, remembering all of their adventures once more. "Yes, yes of course!" Mal said, her voice louder now.

Ben practically jumped up in excitement and embraced her. He slid the ring on her finger and the two kissed.

Loud whooping came from the trees behind them. When Mal twisted around with Ben's arms still around her, she saw Evie joined by Carlos, Jay, Jane and even Lonnie and Doug all cheering and jumping loudly.

Mal felt Ben rest his chin on top of her head. She leaned into him, happily. _Perfect._ She thought to herself. Mal grinned, waving to her friends who all came down to greet the couple. Mal merrily showed off her ring to her friends while everyone hug each other and congratulations were shared. Though they were pulled from their hug, Ben never let go of Mal's hand.

 _Why shouldn't I get a happy ending?_ Mal thought to herself, thinking about her childhood and her mother and everything she'd been through. She deserved this, deserved Ben. Mal smiled to herself, grasping Ben's hand tight. _Perfect._ She thought once more.


	4. For Ben

**Thank you to anyone who commented on this story. Feedback not only helps me to grow as a writer but also helps me to continue on, doing what I love as a writer knowing that others are enjoying my works as well.**

Wedding planning, as it turns out, is hard right from the start. Mal barely had time to enjoy the fact that she was engaged when she was whisked away into a world of color schemes and _what kind of flowers would go best?_

She was sucked into a world of lilies and roses being stuck under her nose and being shown bolt after bolt of fabrics that all looked exactly the same to her. As much as she loved Jane and her dedication to her job, Mal was quickly becoming irritated by constantly being badgered for her input on things she didn't care about.

"Mal!" Jane said, rushing up to her, as if on cue. Mal desperately tried to duck away but failed, getting caught once again in the havoc of wedding planning. "You still have to choose a color scheme. It would be ideal if we knew how your dress would look so that we could plan around that but we'll make it work anyway." Jane spoke so fast that Mal could barely catch a word that she was saying. "There are several green ones that would bring out your eyes…" She flashed several cards that all had different shades of green on them in front of Mal's face. "Or we could go with light pinks and purples, just like the things you've always liked." Again, more cards and colors. "Or! We could even try a mix of darker pinks and purples and lighter greens and maybe even a beige! Personally I think we should try a mix because there's so much more you can do with more colors and… "

"Jane… Jane!" Mal interrupted.

"What?" Jane looked at Mal, eyes wide and eager.  
"We haven't even set a date for the wedding! Can't we deal with this later?" Mal begged.

Jane looked hesitant. "But, if we plan now then there's less to do later! It'll be easier if everything is already picked out!"

"I…" Mal faltered. "I…" In her failing words, Mal glanced up to see Carlos walking up behind Jane. He set his hands on her shoulders, pulling her away from Mal.

"But…" Jane protested.

"Come on… I'm starting to think that you're more invested in Mal's wedding then our relationship." He teased, leading her the other way, letting Mal slip away.

Mal sent a mental thanks to Carlos as she turned down another hall. Once she'd made her way to a corridor that was empty, she fell against a wall. As she leaned on the wall, Mal looked at her ring. Since Ben had given it to her almost two weeks ago, she'd barely had enough time to herself to really look at it. Now, in her moment of peace, she admired it and Ben's attention to detail. She wasn't sure if it was custom made but it seemed to be designed specifically for her.

It was quite simple, but beautifully elegant. The silver band was twisted, almost braided on either side of the starcut amethyst set in the middle. On each side of the purple gem, there was a tiny pale pink gem that Mal didn't know that name of.

Mal ran her thumb over the sparkling gems, smiling. As she admired the ring, she felt another rush of affection for Ben. _It's all worth it for him._ She thought. Though in her affection, she felt the slightest pang. The tiniest bit of her that was completely unsure.

Each gem winked in the sunlight from a nearby window. Across from her, on the wall was a mirror. Mal stared at her reflection, her purple hair and glinting green eyes. As she looked at herself, she tilted her head. Something just didn't seem right but Mal couldn't put her finger on it.

Mal closed her eyes and in her mind, she was back on the Isle. Purple leather adorned her body instead of dresses. Anger and mischief resided in her eyes instead of the fake calm that she constantly portrayed. This Mal was before she became torn with constant inner conflict. Constantly trying to figure out her place in Auradon because she just didn't know. As much as she tried to ignore it, it tore at her, shredding her from the inside.

Her eyes snapped open and again she saw herself but now she knew what was wrong. She still couldn't show who she was. No matter how many times, she runs back to the Isle, if she comes back to Auradon, she'll always have to be someone other than who she is. She may not be wholly evil or purely good but whoever she was, wasn't good enough for who Auradon wanted her to be.

Mal shook her head, ignoring her thoughts of doubt. She rubbed her ring again, trying to bring herself back to her happiness but couldn't shake the feeling that it was all wrong.

She pushed off the wall and walked back down the hallway and out into the courtyard. The sun blinded her eyes as soon as she stepped out the door but Mal kept moving regardless. A tiny tear formed in the corner of her eye but she wiped it away, ignoring the rest that wanted to follow.


	5. Long Live Us

"Mal?" Ben called, somewhere in the midst of the chaos.  
"I'm here!" Mal called back. "Buried in the flowers…" She added bitterly under her breath.

Mal listened to the rustling as he picked his way through the mess, following the sound of her voice. She was sat in a chair, covered by vases and pots of endless amounts of pink and purple flowers. Ever eager Jane had decided to break everything into groups and today was dealing with flowers, a decision that Mal had been putting off for a while just to avoid the incoming mayhem that was sure to follow.

These stupid flowers that made absolutely no sense to Mal. What's the point? Why are they even necessary? What even is a begonia? And what the heck is a verbena or a clematis? Every part of this was lost on Mal and it frustrated her beyond belief. Underneath the table she'd been ripping petals off a flower and snapping the stem into pieces as she tried to work through the building anger.

"Hey, there you are!" Ben smiled, having made his way through the maze. He leaned down to plant a gentle kiss on Mal's lips. "How's it going?"

She crushed crushed the bit of the stem under the table where Ben couldn't see and dropped it to the floor. Mal took a careful breath, trying not to huff. She tried to smile. "Fine, I guess."  
"Not into this wedding stuff, huh?" He smirked and Mal gave him a sheepish grin, shrugging her shoulders slightly.

"Eh, its alright I guess." She lied.

Ben looked skeptical but nevertheless he changed the subject. "Well, would you like to take a break from whatever this is? I brought strawberries!" He pulled a bag off the floor that Mal hadn't seen him bring in. From it, he pulled a small carton of Mal's favorite fruit which she grabbed greedily, hungry after hours of sitting, looking at flowers and not knowing what the hell to do with them.

As she munched, Ben talked about things going on in the kingdom. "And the goblins are still petitioning for amnesty."

He aimlessly brushed away a strand of Mal's hair from her face. She swatted his hand away when he tried to take one of the strawberries. Once the plump strawberries were nothing but the little green stems, Mal looked back up at Ben.

"They're not as bad as you'd think." She said, thinking about the crew that had carried her and the other VK's back from the Forbidden Forest. _Bit dimwitted and grumpy._ She thought. "A few might do well here."

"You think?" Ben didn't come to Mal for council on this often, he mostly worked with Evie when it came to the others who deserved amnesty from the Isle. Mal would see some of them around Auradon Prep from time to time when she visited.

Dizzy did well in art class, star student in fact and Uma had since gone on to live near Ariel's kingdom, and teaching swim lessons in her free time. The bad blood between them had made for some serious tension for a while but they'd gotten through it and kept in touch.

Mal nodded after realizing that she'd been stuck in thought and Ben was still waiting for an answer.

Before either could say anything else, Ben's phone rang. Mal found herself watching as Ben made his way back out of the room and rushed off on the call. Despite that it interrupted her time with Ben, she liked his commitment to trying to make everything right in the kingdom, after all being king isn't easy.

A little voice in the back of Mal's mind whispered. _Being the king's girlfriend isn't any easier._

Mal stood up a while after Ben had left and picked her way through the room. She made her way back to her own room where she collapsed onto her bed. For a while, she simply stared at the wall. Compared to her room back on the Isle, it just seemed so blank.

Sure it had a big canopy bed and annoyingly large TV but after all her time here in Auradon, it just lacked character, lacked the feeling of home.

She rolled over to stare at the ceiling and a pang of longing hit her smack in the heart. Mal felt a solitary tear roll from the edge of her eye to the soft pillows fabric under her head and she realized.

 _She missed it._

From the overbearing, threatening canopy in her room in Bargain Castle and the collection of pickpocketed trinkets on her dresser to the freedom to be as nasty of brutally honest as her heart desired. She missed being able to not care but even more, she just missed her home.

It had been her birthright, her everything, since the moment she was born. Born to be ruthless, born to be fearless, born to be evil, born as the future ruler of the Isle. At least there she had a place, at least there she knew where to stand but here?

Here she was stuck, here she couldn't move without making a mistake, here she knew that she was a part of Auradon but at the same time she just wasn't. Here she had to be perfect, here Mal had to be what she wasn't: a princess.

Being a lady of the court was all that mattered to anyone when it came to Mal. All the media wanted was to prove how wrong for the part she was, all her friends wanted to do was help her along in the process but in all of it, Mal never stopped to think about what _she_ wanted to be. Not a lady or a princess or anything like that.

Here she could have everything, anything she wanted. Here she had what most girls would dream about. Her fiancé is the king, she's going to live in a castle and have a _happy_ ending where she'd be a queen and have everything you could ever wish for but it wasn't what she wanted.

A battle broke out in her mind, broken fragments of thought thrown back and forth. _Of course I want Ben… but I hate being tied down. I love this life and the adventures I've had… and yet I still hate it._

She remembered her trip back to the Isle, only three and a half years ago, remembered how good it felt to go back and not have to pretend. But she also remembered her friends, who'd stuck by her no matter what. They'd come to Auradon with her and all of them found their place, found something that connected them to the kingdom and the people they met. Even when she went back, they followed, if only to bring her back.

On the Isle it'd been strange to have friends but in Auradon they realized how much they really needed each other and Mal loved and cared for each of them, Evie, Jay and Carlos were all her family which was why she found herself so frustrated. They were her best friends and the last thing she wanted to do was leave them or force them to go back to the Isle when they were all so clearly happy here.

She remembered their support of her decisions, the way they stood by her no matter what and all Mal had ever done was cause trouble, she was only ever an inconvenience in their lives. The thoughts weighed down Mal's heart and it threatened to fall into her stomach.

Again her mind was at war, half convincing herself that her friends really did love her for who she was, the other half dragging her further into a pit. Another tear rolled down her cheek and another and another. Finally, Mal screamed hoping that no one would be around to hear. She tried to let go of all of all of it but it only got stronger.

Tired of staring at the blank wood paneled walls, Mal rolled out of her bed and knelt in front of her bedside table, ignoring the tears that dropped to the floor. The bottom drawer held her spray paint cans that she never could bear to throw away.

Fumes from the paint soon filled the room as Mal began to paint, hoping that it would let something go. Soon her signature "Long Live Evil" mark was set. She took in a sharp breath as she'd forgotten how potent the putrid smell could be. It felt good to rebel against it all, even just the tiniest bit and yet something was still off. Something _still_ didn't feel right.

She plopped her butt back on the bed for a second, tilting her head left and right, trying to figure out what was wrong. Soon she came to realize that it wasn't what she'd put up, it was what she'd left out. Mal went to work once more, stopping halfway to open a window as the room now reeked of chemicals and wet paint. When she stood back again, next to her first insignia she'd drawn another, a new one.

Mal's dragon heart, Evie's blue crown, Jay's snake and Carlo's crossbones were all freshly imprinted on the wall and below them, neatly scripted, were the words "Long Live Us". She crossed the room, viewed her creation and smiled.

In her heart, Mal felt a twinge of pain and longing. It still wasn't home, Auradon would never be her true home but neither was the Isle, neither was having no purpose at all. After putting away the cans, Mal dropped onto her bed once more.

She sighed. All she'd done was procrastinate. That's all she ever seemed to be able to do.

Mal let out a breathy laugh, thinking about the night of the cotillion. A girl who could turn into a dragon, a girl whose mother was a fearless ruler, a girl who's heritage showed nothing but power and courage and yet she couldn't even pick out a flower arrangement.

Lifting her arm over her head, she traced the dragon mark on her arm with her free hand. It's colors were as vibrant as the day it appeared and even though she'd proven to herself time and again that she wasn't just a villain, Mal still couldn't let it go.

Frustration began to rise in her chest again and she felt her head start to ache from the fumes again. A steady beat pounded out in her temple, and she heard a faint ringing. Mal pulled open her door room and it slammed shut behind her as she stalked away with no direction in mind, just wanting to get away from there.


	6. Unstable

Standing in front of her mirror, Mal could see herself slipping away again but this time she couldn't tell which part of herself was the one fading away. Ben had asked her to meet him at the castle and after the Fairy Godmother wanted a word.

Anxiety built a brick wall in Mal's chest. She'd picked out a soft lavender dress with blue streaks but as comfortable as the dress was, she couldn't help twisting around in it, pulling it down and adjusting it over and over.

A slight pounding entered Mal's head, thumping through her temple but she ignored it. It hammered an unsteady beat into her mind but Mal shut her eyes and blocked it out.

Colorful blurs catch Mal's eye when she opened them again and she glanced over at the symbols on her wall. In the moment, they'd seemed so right. It had felt so good to rebel but now every time she saw them, every time someone walked into her room, she hid them. Somehow, now, instead of feeling proud of her moment of defiance, she felt _nervous_.

Just looking at them made her heart race a little, like she was scared of what they really meant.

Mal turned away from the wall quickly, ignoring the steady pulse in her chest. She slipped on a pair of sandals and practically ran out of the room. Running away from her problems… again.

At the castle, Ben waited for Mal reaching one hand out. He held his arm out formally and Mal took it as gracefully as she could. The two walked hand in hand through the castle, passing through hall after hall until they were finally stood outside one.

"Well?" Mal asked looking up at Ben. "What did you want to show me?" She asked even though her heart pounded.

"Come in and see." He smiled.

He pushed open the doors and as Mal walked through she gasped.

"Oh Ben…" She whispered.

The first two steps into the room made her stop as she gasped. The first thing to greet her, on the very back wall was the stain glass window that he'd made her. It shown with the sunlight filtering through it, casting wonderful colorful shades of sunlight all across the room.

But this was just a living room, there was an entire other side to the right and as Mal looked into it, she was greeted with an extravagant bedroom. It was all entirely a scheme of purple, green and gold.

Each wall held a different shade of purple, contrasting the white and gold furniture. And everything seemed to have an accent of green built into it so the room looked slightly like it had moss growing on it.

And the further she ventured into the room, the more she noticed. Like the tall mirror standing in the corner embellished with strings of hanging lights shaped like stars. Or the bathroom in the corner that even just looking from ten feet away looked more expensive than anything she'd ever owned. Mal stood in place revolving slowly on the spot as she noticed even smaller details that caused her jaw to drop further.

When Mal had done a full 360, she saw Ben still standing in his same spot looking delighted at Mal's shocked expression. But before she could say anything, Ben walked over to her, took her hand gently and lead her over for yet another surprise.

The pounding from before had grown and Mal felt slightly sick to her stomach but again she ignored it, focusing on Ben.

The wall that she'd thought only held a mural suddenly opened, the massive wall panels splitting to reveal a gigantic walk-in closet.

"Oh Ben." She repeated. "This is too much."

Nevertheless, he guided her into the closet where the shelves and hangers were neatly aligned, some filled, some still waiting to be used.

He picked up a remote from a little side table, handing it to her.

"What am I supposed to do?" Mal asked, tracing her finger over the buttons curiously.

"Press one." Ben replied, smiling like it was some big mystery.

But Ben received a call and hurried away to answer it and Mal was left to admire the room. She wandered through the closet, unsure of what to make of it all. Walking alongside one of the walls that seemed to be lined with drawers, she pressed a few random combinations to see what would happen and was met with a rather impressive selection of jewelry and dresses. As Mal inspected them, she pressed a few others and two little doors popped open next to her head.

Inside she was astonished to see an exquisite emerald tiara. Light twinkled off each polished gem but as Mal looked at it, something dawned on her that she hadn't thought of yet.

She was going to be queen.

Ben being the king had always been a part of it but not once in the whirlwind of wedding planning had Mal truly stopped to realize. She was going to be crowned a queen.

Mal stumbled backwards in shock. Her back hit one of the pillars and she slid to the floor staring at the crown. That brick wall of anxiety had just been demolished by the wrecking ball that was her immeasurable fear.

And in that moment, a hysterical laugh escaped from her mouth.

Sure trying to cause pain to others on the island was nothing. Just like facing off with her dragon mother or sea witch enemy Uma was like a walk in the park. But put Mal in front of crown, give her the responsibility of being perfect and helping to rule the lives of millions and now you've got her scared.

Mal's distraught laughter drew palace guards to her room but she stumbled to the door, slamming it shut. There she lay, slumped against the door in a panic. The queasiness from before had grown and it felt like her insides were stewing. Her vision blurred slightly though she wasn't sure whether it was from nerves or something else.

She stared up the stain glass window of her and Ben together. She looked into her own flashing green eyes as her chest heaved up and down.

And she felt bile begin to creep up her throat, she crawled to the bathroom, ignoring the worried calls of guard outside her door who were bound to bring Ben back at any time. She leaned over the toilet bowl, retching into it as she emptied the contents of her stomachs.

That's where Ben found her, shivering on the tiled floor but Mal couldn't move. Paralyzed with fear, she felt herself being lifted from the floor. A maid helped Ben to lift her and they laid her in the bed. Ben covered her with the comforter, sending another servant for a doctor.

Cold crept up Mal's body despite the warm blanket and soon goosebumps covered the length of her arms. She shivered as Ben sat next to her, rubbing her arm. Pressure enveloped her head like someone had tied a band around her head and just kept pulling. The beat of a drum echoed through her head, thumping to no end. Mal felt tears slip from her eyes. They stung her cheeks and Mal felt herself slip away just a the palace doctor arrived.

Her vision blurred but the last thing she saw before she slipped into unconsciousness was Ben's concerned eyes staring worriedly down at her, a little crinkle forming between them.


End file.
